Silver’s Special Day

Hello again everyone. I have to apologize for why its been a while since I’ve uploaded and it all ties into my story regarding Silvers special day – her funeral. My old laptop decided to have a meltdown just before her funeral and I’ve had to fork out and buy a new one (which doesn’t…

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Hit By a Bus – Metaphorically Speaking

Okay so as the title suggests I’ve not actually been hit by a bus, but it feels like it. Remember last week I said how great I felt. I was happy, coping and feeling productive. Well this week grief and exhaustion has hit me like a double decker. I wish I could say what triggered…

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When Things Go Well

Hi Everyone! I hope you have all had a lovely weekend and enjoyed this glorious weather. I have actually had a good weekend and decided it was worth sharing since I feel like super mum right now. Okay I know that sounds a bit condescending but for some reason recently I feel like I am…

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3rd Time Lucky? – Prenatal Depression

There are parts of pregnancy that I love. The fluttering baby kicks (maybe not so much the kicks to the bladder or ribs), the bond you have with your husband when he rubs you belly or simply the excitement of welcoming a new baby into the family. Of course, things won’t be quite the same…

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The Waiting Game – Post Mortem Results

Yesterday marked 6 weeks from us taking Silver down to the chapel of rest at the RVI in Newcastle. We’d had five nights with her in the NICU in flats which are used for parents preparing to take their NICU baby home whilst having the nurses nearby in case any incident did occur. It was…

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But you have a toddler…

If you’ve read my “Our Story” you’ll know I am blessed with a beautiful little boy called Beau. Now the first thing I have to say is this may trigger some people but please let me explain. I absolutely love my little boy to pieces but he is still a toddler going through the terrible…

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I Had A Stroke?

I decided while its still fresh in my mind I should finish telling my story after being blinded by grief, literally! As I mentioned in my other post, the doctor at the TIA clinic said not to worry and had ordered an MRI scan of my brain within 4 weeks. Well the day after this appointment…

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I Miss Newcastle

I know it would seem odd to miss somewhere with such negative memories and I really do wonder if other people ever miss the place where their baby was in hospital like I am doing. Of course if our car hadn’t got trashed and we actually had a functioning mode of transport it would just…

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Silvers Due Date

Any mother that loses a premature baby knows just how painful this day is. I think in all fairness I coped better than I expected. I guess in some ways I’d been grieving so much recently that it just felt like another day. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing really,…

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Blinded By Grief – Literally!

Wow I wish I was joking! So last night I had sat down after my bath to write my “Our Story” page on here. It was quite late and Fabian decided to go to the shop before it shut at 10pm. The only problem was I literally lost my sight! I noticed it was quite…

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