The Waiting Game – Post Mortem Results

Yesterday marked 6 weeks from us taking Silver down to the chapel of rest at the RVI in Newcastle. We’d had five nights with her in the NICU in flats which are used for parents preparing to take their NICU baby home whilst having the nurses nearby in case any incident did occur. It was…

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But you have a toddler…

If you’ve read my “Our Story” you’ll know I am blessed with a beautiful little boy called Beau. Now the first thing I have to say is this may trigger some people but please let me explain. I absolutely love my little boy to pieces but he is still a toddler going through the terrible…

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I Had A Stroke?

I decided while its still fresh in my mind I should finish telling my story after being blinded by grief, literally!Β As I mentioned in my other post, the doctor at the TIA clinic said not to worry and had ordered an MRI scan of my brain within 4 weeks. Well the day after this appointment…

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I Miss Newcastle

I know it would seem odd to miss somewhere with such negative memories and I really do wonder if other people ever miss the place where their baby was in hospital like I am doing. Of course if our car hadn’t got trashed and we actually had a functioning mode of transport it would just…

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Silvers Due Date

Any mother that loses a premature baby knows just how painful this day is. I think in all fairness I coped better than I expected. I guess in some ways I’d been grieving so much recently that it just felt like another day. I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing really,…

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Blinded By Grief – Literally!

Wow I wish I was joking! So last night I had sat down after my bath to write my “Our Story” page on here. It was quite late and Fabian decided to go to the shop before it shut at 10pm. The only problem was I literally lost my sight! I noticed it was quite…

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6 Week Postnatal Check With No Baby

Wow, today’s appointment unexpectedly hit me where it hurts. I expected to go to the doctors to simply talk about my C section recovery, contraception and our future plans regarding babies and VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). I had been feeling pretty good today and coping not too badly, I think writing my Easter post…

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Easter – A Good Distraction

I decided I wanted to share a more positive story today. So as you may know, we lost our daughter on the 28th Feb. I had already been looking into Easter items for my sons Easter Basket. Now we don’t actually celebrate Easter, we are Pagan and celebrate Ostara. I haven’t actually been a practicing…

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Bringing My Baby Girl Home

I thought it would be appropriate to write about what I’m going through right now and delve into the back story as and when I feel emotionally ready. You can however check out my personal instagram @rainbow_and_angel_mummy to get most of the story so far. This weekend was a tough part of our journey with…

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Introducing Me and Silver

So I’ve decided to start a blog. To be honest, I really wish I’d done it sooner because I’ve already been on a very long difficult and amazing journey. For now I’ll simply cover the basics and perhaps go into more detail in some later posts. I am 24 years old, married to Fabian in…

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